Outliers Toastmasters Local Chapter Open to New Members – Build Your Communications Variety and Confidence

I was my husband’s spokesperson/business manager, which meant I dealt with the uncomfortable conversations. He was a competitor and a coach in an international sport, and he led teams of amateur competitors and Olympic-hopefuls to participate in the sport in the U.S. and Europe. At one point he was approached to perform as an emcee and off-camera coach for a cable TV series in which, for entertainment value, celebrities would compete. We were on speakerphone with the Producer, and they asked if he would perform the role at no charge, suggesting he would receive more coaching work by being on their show. My husband looked at me, frowning. Afraid to lose the gig, he motioned to me to not say anything. As if! My years as an active Toastmaster would not let this affront to his professionalism pass.
In my most pleasant voice, I began with thanking them for the opportunity, followed by “We have a few questions”. I proceeded to ask about their expectations for who would be on the show, air times in what markets, distribution of the show, sponsors, etc. Asking for more information is always a good way to delay what might be a confrontational reply. Ultimately, I summarized with “We want to understand. You want an emcee with a recognized place in the sport, but you don’t think the role is important enough to pay for that talent?” I could have said “We’ll think about your offer and get back to you”, but the silence would have wasted time, adding more incongruence, not less.
Here are tactics to use when faced with confrontation – put this list by your telephone: Ask the other party to repeat the issue/idea; ask questions to get more info; listen for changes in the original request; change the topic completely, then return to the original issue and listen again for changes; insert humor; ask when they need to know; imply you need to consult with others; explain that without assurance of income, opportunity, promotion you will need to weigh the options. Words, pauses, vocal variety, and, if meeting in person, eye contact, facial expressions, gestures all blend to show you are confident in your position. End with “I was told you are a fair person. Is this your final offer?”
Outcome: my husband got the job, was paid, and enjoyed every minute of the production. Come to Outliers and we will practice our variety of communication choices together – your confidence and your skills will grow exponentially. Call our VP of Education Tom Iland at 661-313-3323 or his e-mail is tom@thomasiland.com.