Emotional intimacy is allowing another individual to enter into and witness our core being, it kind of feels like interior nakedness. This type of emotional penetration is often too risky and generates unbelievable trepidation for most of us. The more exposed we are, the greater potential there is for pain. It is the fear of pain that often jolts us away from pursuing further intimacy. We could just rely on our great sex life and avoid this deeper level of relating.
Sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy are not the same thing and do not necessarily occur at the same time. Sex can be intimate when emotional, spiritual and mental aspects are added as well. People earnestly want sex to fulfill their need for emotional intimacy, while it can supply physical closeness with plenty of vulnerability and pleasure. People can end up feeling alone and disconnected if they aren’t able to connect in other fulfilling ways as well. What happens when sex becomes routine, unsatisfying, stale or when the thrill wears off, or the body doesn’t cooperate? This is when deeper relationships built on more than animalistic urges come in handy.
Good relationships require us to be vulnerable and honest about our inner selves. Trusting others and being honest with ourselves must pave the way to sharing thoughts and feelings. It is so risky in fact that we develop clever ways around this kind of depth. Some of us may hide behind humor, my favorite. Humor can be fairly misleading because it often gives the impression of intimacy whilst actually facilitating its avoidance. Having nothing to say is playing it safe, although it can be the most innocent way of resisting the shift headed for intimacy.
We are becoming more isolated as a society with the hullabaloo of gadgets and technology that engulf us, more safe distractions. If we want fulfillment in relationships and are capable of connecting with our loved one eye-to-eye on a human level without a phone ringing, we may avoid getting swallowed up in loneliness. I believe that being truly seen beats the alternative.
For more information contact the Healing Place at 661-755-9881.