When obstacles test our marriage, do we work it out, or end it? A marriage commitment initially means forever. Yet overlooking the roles we acquire beyond husband or wife, eventually it feels we’ve fallen out of love. Do we let it all come to an end? Is divorce the answer?
Daily frustrations create confusion between feeling aggravated with circumstances or with our mate. Frustration with work, kids, house, pets and finances add up. We feel pressure to keep friends, parents, or in-laws happy while struggling to maintain our own happy family. Rather than sharing experiences, the battle is on: the husband retreats to his cave and the wife dons her battle armor, readying for the attack. We forget how to communicate and push our mate away.
Personalizing our spouse’s frustrations, we wonder what’s wrong with us, or them, rather than seeking out ways to make the marriage work. Communication is the answer, but what does this mean? And if one partner has gone outside of the marriage, can the relationship be saved? Is divorce the answer? Life’s challenges don’t disappear elsewhere and the grass isn’t greener, it only seems that way.
Recognize your role in marriage, family and your life. It’s not your job to fix the world. A challenged marriage also rocks a child’s sense of security. But being married doesn’t have to be so hard. Specific circumstances warrant divorce, but beyond that, remember why you fell in love. Learn to honor your spouse again.
Remember the old adage: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going!” Let’s get going and develop personalized tools to bring happiness back into your marriage. There is an easier way, and your children will see the change. As role models on their stage, we have an opportunity to show them a loving way, a happier solution. Trust the process and give yourself a gift today.
For life coaching services, call Liz Hodson at 661-255-6044. The next Moms Mixer is Thursday, September 13. For upcoming events and retreat details, please visit www.lizhodson.com . Life coach Liz Hodson is facilitating a September retreat with her colleague, life coach Trent. Call for reservations.