The things we say to others and ourselves define our reality and the reality of those to whom we say it. Our words are powerful and have real vibrational force.
What do you say to yourself about yourself? What do you say to others about yourself? Do you use words such as “fat, old, not smart enough, just getting by, not very attractive, unable to meet anyone special” or other limiting adjectives to describe yourself? Do you realize that you are keeping yourself in that very situation by saying it to yourself on a regular basis? Saying these derogatory comments while looking in the mirror is especially powerful, but in a negative way.
What do you say to your children? Do you tell them they are “lazy, stupid, a loser, don’t listen, selfish, screwed-up” or other harmful adjectives? What our children hear from their primary caregivers, close family and even their teachers’ can and will affect their perception of themselves. Positive or negative, limiting comments to children will contribute to their reality.
Do you have an ex-spouse or significant other? What do you say about that person? Speaking negatively about this person to children you may share is especially harmful. It creates an internal anxiety within them that can cause acting out or regressive behavior in children. Additionally, calling your ex-spouse or significant other a “loser, stupid, greedy, selfish, irresponsible”, or other words, including those this magazine won’t print, keeps you stuck in the pain of the relationship and unable to move on with your own life. This occurs even if you are the one who decided to divorce or split up.
If it were easy to stop saying these things, we would all just stop. However, these things we say to ourselves and others come from deep inside of us and are learned behavior. Understanding and insight, re-creating our past, and developing new stories about who we are can be a rewarding part of re-creating our life and relationships the way we want them to be.
Working with a solution-focused licensed professional can help you get rid of what doesn’t work in your life, and help you prepare and then bring in what you desire. You do deserve to be happy, healthy, successful, loved, respected and to create the life you want.
Dr. Elena Michaels is a Solution-Focused Holistic Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Collaborative Divorce Professional. She is a Doctor of Natural Health, Integrative Healthcare Practitioner and Traditional Naturopathic Doctor. Dr. Elena has been helping others create the life they want for more than 27 years.
For more information, please call 661-250-4395, visit www.DrElena.com or email Elena@DrElena.com