For most of us, the holidays can be a joyful time to celebrate with family and friends. We attend parties, watch our children perform in holiday shows, decorate our homes, and bake special treats. For someone who has experienced a recent death of a loved one, this time of year can be overwhelming. Many people who’ve experienced a loss may find this to be a time when they are most vulnerable to feelings of sadness, fear, confusion, anger, guilt, loneliness, and anxiety. Experiencing these feelings is a normal part of the grieving process, a natural and universal experience. However, how we experience grief is unique to each one of us. One may not experience all of the feelings mentioned, and the intensity of these feelings may be felt differently.
Here are some coping tools you might find helpful during this holiday season:
1. Set reasonable expectations of yourself: limit the number of events you participate in with family and friends. Be careful not to take on too much too soon.
2. Get plenty of rest: when you are grieving, your body is most susceptible to illness. Take a nap or relax and listen to some special relaxing music.
3. Allow yourself a place to express your feelings like attending a Grief Support Group or by writing your feelings in a journal.
4. Don’t hesitate to talk about your loved one: share your special memories out loud; this allows the healing process to continue.
5. Create ways of remembering your loved one: carry on an old family tradition, start a new holiday tradition, buy a new ornament and/or light a candle in memory of that person, create a memory box with your children, documenting (using pictures, words, letters) family thoughts and memories of your special person.
6. Envision a hopeful future: enjoy the life and love of those who are surrounding you at this time!
These are only a few ideas you might find helpful during this time. Many resources are available to those who’ve lost a loved one, such as books, groups, spiritual advisors, family and friends.
weSPARK Cancer Support Center offers services for cancer patients and their families and friends all free of charge. If you’re interested in our grief program or other programs offered through weSPARK, please contact Lori at 661-288-2322.