“Oh my God!” “Why me?” “I don’t want to die.” Anyone who has ever heard the words “You have cancer,” can relate to the shock, anger and fear that accompany the diagnosis. So why is it difficult to discuss those heart-wrenching feelings? When Susan found out she had cancer, she worried, “How much longer do I have? What about my daughter?” Similarly, Patti was diagnosed and thought “Now what?” She felt terrible fear and anxiety and later, anger.
Although we may panic, many patients and caregivers feel that giving in to their feelings is weak, and expressing them, taboo. Patients and caregivers often feel they need to be “positive” for the ones they love. All this bravado and sensitivity can be a real barrier for families reeling with a cancer diagnosis who actually need to jump up and down, cry and scream. Skipping that phase may mean missing a very important part of the healing process. Let it all out and then focus on healing.
One way to move forward is to make a list of people and things that give you joy and for which you are grateful. Try not to isolate. There are many educational and informational programs in our valley. Call the American Cancer Society at 661-775-0711. They may pair you up with someone similarly diagnosed. It’s a great place to get information.
Remember, you have to cultivate hope and help it grow in the face of adversity. Join a support group in Santa Clarita. weSPARK is a non-profit cancer support center that provides services free of charge to cancer patients and their families. Speaking with others who feel the same way helps normalize a traumatic diagnosis. Your sense of aloneness in the world and your “uniqueness” can be shared in a group where other people truly understand your feelings. You can be you, even though “you” are a nervous wreck. It’s rewarding to hear someone else express your feelings- that “aha” moment when you realize you’re not crazy, just vulnerable. Fill your journey with integrity by surrounding yourself with positive people and activities such as yoga, guided imagery, energy sessions, art and music. Take a walk. Meditate. Breathe deeply. Know that hope resonates deep within you and that it will help you find your way.
For more information, please call 661-362-6388.