As the holidays approach, the stress of last minute gift shopping isn’t the real issue for many separated and/or divorced parents — this is the season of who gets what time with the kids. But there are ways to avoid the last minute stress of these situations.
1. Try to settle as far in advance of holiday time as possible. It can be hard to decide months in advance as to what holiday is important to you, but having a first and second choice in mind can make negotiations much easier.
2. Think about an even year – odd year compromise. One parent gets first choice in even years and the other in odd years or simply switch the holiday time on an alternating year basis. Or use your second choice as the alternating years.
3. Give a little to get a little. When negotiating, on your own or through a mediator, remember the best negotiations keep in mind the fact that neither parent will realistically get 100 percent of what they want. Compromise is the key. You’ve got to give something to get something.
4. Think outside of the box. Many parents have learned that it is not the particular holiday that is important but the new rituals they can develop. As such, while some parents are simply unwilling to let go of Thanksgiving, Hanukah or Christmas, other parents have learned to celebrate an alternate day as special. Sometimes making your own holiday can make for an even more satisfying experience.
The holidays can be stressful enough with all of the shopping, planning and visiting of family and friends. The added stress of settling holiday access can upset what should be a happy occasion. Give a little and you will get a little, but most importantly, consider the children. Any time with family can be just as special as the holiday itself.
If negotiations on your own are not enough, consider a free consultation from The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman. For more information, please contact us at 661-414-7108 or visit www.chromanlaw.com .