The holidays are associated with happiness and family gatherings. But, if you ask any attorney who handles after-death issues, that attorney will tell you that the holidays are associated with a rise in the number of deaths among our elderly. I cannot say why, but it does happen, year after year. Maybe its because the cold and flu season takes its toll on those whose immune systems are already weak. Or, maybe its because our widows and widowers find themselves depressed over the holidays, and purposefully allow themselves to join their predeceased spouse. Whatever the reason, December through February brings an increased number of deaths.
But, it is rare these passings are sudden. Usually, there is an illness or broken bone (such as a hip), followed by a hospital stay, followed by a transition to a skilled nursing facility for some form of therapy. Many times, the person is never able to regain the strength needed to return home. Sometimes, a mind already touched by Alzheimer’s disease deteriorates very rapidly with the strain of the physical illness.
The family often experiences tremendous stress during this time period. Doctor’s opinions differ, and an impossible balancing act of work, family issues, and sibling dynamics emerge. Well-meaning people often become entangled in the maze of Elder Law. Common questions include: Why did Medicare stop covering the medical bills? How are we going to pay the $5,500 per month skilled nursing care bill? What does Medi-Cal/Medicaid cover, and how can we receive those benefits? Will the State take Mom’s house? What are our options regarding long term care? How do I properly use that Durable Power of Attorney Mom signed years ago? Why can’t I get any information about Mom’s care – the hospital keeps referring to “HIPPA laws?”
Of course, it is essential to handle these critical issues with proper information. However, when families do not become “proactive,” they are often met with unwelcomed surprises, large bills, and the loss of family assets. Rather than hearing “weren’t those holidays great,” I often hear “I wish I had known our options earlier.” An ounce of Elder Law planning is worth a pound of cure.
Ms. McNamara is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. For more information, please call the Law Office of Jane M. McNamara at 661-287-3260.