Is love butterflies in your belly or a friendship set on fire? Is it just a chemical release that stimulates the brain’s pleasure center? Is it about possessing or liberating? Is it stagnant and limiting or does it open doors to and encourage growth opportunities? Is it the destination or the journey? Is it about giving, receiving or sharing? Is love felt or experienced? Is it about giving your partner what you want or what your partner wants? Is love truly unconditional, or do we expect a legitimate reciprocal effort from our partner? Is love deep, intense and unending? Does love nurture playfulness along with responsibility? Does love enhance the relationship? Is it soothing and comforting or arousing and stimulating? Do you look forward to being energized by your partner, or do you find your greatest pleasure is sharing in your partner’s joy? Is love predestined and predetermined, or can it be created, nurtured and enhanced? Does love protect and preserve all hopes for the positive aspects of life? Is love about what your partner has to offer or what you bring to the relationship? In love, do we seek to be understood or to understand? Does love bond us in a mutual link of trust and intimacy? Does love allow or prevent total vulnerability? Does love thrive on intimacy, commitment and passion? Is it selfish or selfless? Does it allow total trust and respect? Does it allow us to accept and appreciate our partner as is or for the potential of what could be? Does love complement our deficiencies, or is it the unnecessary yet wonderful icing on the cake? Does it allow everyone to feel safe, secure and special? Does it promote choice or obligation? Do you choose to be lovable or force others to love you? Does love exist if it isn’t expressed? Is it merely a fantasy or a true possibility?
Obviously, I can’t tell you what love is. That definition is very personal and unique to each individual; but I can tell you that love is nothing if your partner’s definition is incompatible with your definition. Read this together; add to it; personalize it; create something special. May this Valentine’s Day transition you to deeper and more meaningful love.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-251-7748 or 661-269-4704.