We’ve all encountered people who drew our interest. Sometimes we interact with them daily, while others attract us by their creative accomplishments without even having met them. How do we let them know that they’ve attracted our attention? Fearful of rejection or negative reactions, we often choose to let opportunities pass by. It’s challenging to meet a compatible partner, so we need to question the wisdom of letting opportunities pass us by.
The first step is always to do research. Find out all you can about this person. Based on what we discover, do we feel that this person would still be compatible with what we’re seeking? If we still believe something special could exist, we need to explore means for making contact. Some people like the direct person-to-person approach, while others prefer an indirect approach to determine the other’s interest.
If you choose the direct approach, find a way to interact with this person. You can ask them a question or comment on something that impressed you. The problem with this approach is that you won’t know if their response has to do with your reaching out or something that preceded that encounter. If they had a bad day, you may interpret their response as a personal rejection, though it may have been poor timing. With direct approaches, never put the person on the spot by expecting an immediate response. If you choose to ask a question, say: “When you have a moment, there is something on which I’d appreciate your opinion.” If you share your thought, make sure that it can’t be perceived as being judgmental or sarcastic, and don’t linger as if you are waiting for more.
If you choose the indirect approach, leave a note, email or voice mail stating that you observed their activity and share what impact it had on you. Thank them for adding to your life, without demanding that they respond in any way. A little information about you might raise the likelihood that the person will feel that this is worth following through on.
Even if the person chooses not to follow through, we appreciate when we’re positively noticed, and it’ll add to that person’s day. Don’t expect to connect in all areas, just because you connect in one area. You may end up gaining in an unexpected area; so don’t miss opportunities.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-251-7748 or 661-269-4704.