For some families, there’s no question when it’s time for their parents to stop living alone, mom and dad are definitely moving in with them. On the other hand, we talk with families all the time who can’t imagine making it work with mom and dad sharing their home, even if it may be the very best option and even if it’s a growing trend.
Research recently conducted by Home Instead Senior Care shows that 43 percent of adult caregivers ages 35 to 62 live with an older relative for whom they or others in the household provide care. Why this trend?
1. Some seniors need the physical or emotional support of an extended family if they’ve lost a spouse or have health issues that make it more difficult to live independently.
2. In this economy it’s becoming more difficult for seniors on a fixed income to pay for essential items such as food and medications, so living with family can help cut costs.
Yet, merging households is not an easy decision to make. While living with and caring for loved ones can be rewarding, it can also be stressful and time consuming. And for seniors it can signal a loss of independence and control in their lives.
The Home Instead Senior Care network, along with the Matthew Kaplan Penn State Intergenerational Program, has created a handbook for families considering this move. Included in the handbook are tips for learning to live in harmony, including:
• Take a family partnership perspective. Everyone needs to be informed about household changes and allowed to share their ideas about how to make it work.
• Set expectations right away. Every family member must understand what is expected and how they fit into the big picture.
• Ask for help. Engage children in responsibilities around the home, and make it clear to adult siblings that you want and need them to be involved. Or, arrange for a caregiver service to help.
• Distinguish between private space and shared space. Makes rules and follow them. Shared space should be for everyone and private space should not be invaded.
For a free copy of our handbook, Too Close for Comfort: A Guide for Boomers and the Seniors Who Live With Them, call Home Instead Senior Care at 661-254-8701 or e-mail charlenep@homeinstead.com .