Have you heard the saying, “You are too close to the forest to see the trees?” That applies to aging parents, especially if you see your parents frequently. Think about it: If you do not see someone for a long period of time, the changes are more obvious than when you see someone everyday. Regardless of whether you see someone daily or occasionally, here are some recommended “Quick Check” activities.
Go with your parent or loved one to her next doctor’s appointment and hear firsthand what the doctor has to say. If your parent drives, run an errand with him, observe his driving skills and determine if his abilities present any concerns. Look in her refrigerator. What’s inside? Does she appear to be getting proper nourishment? How is his hygiene? Does he smell clean or as if he needs a bath? How about his breath? Does it appear that he is brushing his teeth regularly? How is his overall appearance in terms of hair, grooming and his ability to match clothing? Are the linens and towels clean? And so on.
Do basic tasks seem to be more challenging, frustrating or time consuming? For example, getting ready to go out, preparing a meal, everyday coping, etc. Does it appear that she is able to take care of her personal finances sufficiently? Does she have a reasonable amount of cash in her wallet? Does it appear that his mail is normal or is it stacking up? Do you see any suspicious items like possible past due or shut off notices? When she sees people she knows, is she able to remember names?
Does he seem to be aware of potential safety concerns (turning off the stove or coffeepot, extinguishing candles or cigarettes properly, awareness of sharp objects, wet floors, etc.)?
Unfortunately there is no magical age when you should start to be concerned about your parents. Some people may need assistance as early as their 50s or 60s and for others, they may be self-sufficient into their 80s or 90s. The point is this, be prepared, know what to look for, and be there for them when they need help.
Myles McNamara is owner of Comfort Keepers In-Home Care, providing assistance to seniors in the comfort of their own home. He can be reached at 661-287-4200. Comfort Keepers is located at 24355 Lyons Avenue, Suite 110.