In the United States, the Fourth of July is set aside to celebrate our independence. Many of us will mark the day by attending firework displays, enjoying barbecues, watching parades, waiving American flags, going to baseball games, eating apple pie, and listening to theatrical recitations of the Declaration of Independence. Our country will be decorated in red, white, and blue. We’ll sing patriotic songs. We’ll reaffirm our belief in and aspirations to be autonomous, self-sufficient, and of course, independent. Most will have the day off work and many will wish they had work.
In my family, we’ll gather on the Fourth of July to also celebrate mom and dad’s 54th wedding anniversary. Again this year, if all runs true to form, dad will foolishly quip, “this is the day I lost my independence.” Mom will invariably become annoyed and will sarcastically warn, “if you want your independence back, just say the word.”
I may be going out on a limb here, but I think independence is over-rated. If it were up to me, I would establish a new holiday called Inter-Dependence Day. It would be an occasion to celebrate ways we already collaborate with each other to create a better world. It could be an international observance that acknowledges our shared interests. It would feature multi-cultural potlucks where all would bring something wonderful to the table, just like in real life. On my Inter-Dependence Day, we would chronicle ways we contribute to each other. We would congratulate each other for giving and getting help. We would replace a fixation on the illusion of autonomy with a renewed commitment to remain connected with each other in good times and bad.
On this Independence Day, take a second look at your beliefs about dependence and independence. See if you can find new ways to partner with others to make our community and our world better. And, if you are like me, you’ll be inspired by the words of American novelist Peter DeVries who wisely recognized, “We were not put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.”
Have a safe and inter-dependent Fourth of July.
You are welcome to call Debbie to schedule a consultation with her for therapy/coaching in Valencia at 661-259-5986 or Encino at 818-385-0550.