Anyone who has been unfortunate enough to have to deal with a family member or loved one who is an addict can tell you how unbelievably hopeless and frustrating it can be. Even when you think they’ve quit they can relapse and slip back deeply into their addiction making it seem as though everything you did (or thought you did) was useless. But this is not the case. When I provide counseling to someone I know it might be some time before they come to the full realization that they need to make a commitment to recovery. But I know that the counseling I provide accumulates within their mind and spirit and when the auspicious day arrives that they finally realize they need to stop, the methods and strategies they learned with me become activated and make it possible for them to succeed, even if they have moved on and are not actively in counseling.
We cannot tell someone to quit! They already know it’s bad. All we can do is help them mature quickly and help them to realize for themselves that they need to quit. Family members and friends are not capable of bringing about this complex realization.
This is due partly to the total misunderstanding between the addict and the supporting person. Addicts are complex people, looking for something profound within themselves or in existence and drugs give them a glimpse of that, even though it is artificial and destructive. If we are going to get them to quit, they need to figure out what it is they are truly seeking and realize that it is typically something more than just having a “normal” life of job, family, etc. For many addicts this makes no sense to them but they don’t always know why. We need to put them in touch with the intangible “something” they are looking for. When they realize it and they desire it and that desire becomes greater than the desire to use, they will grow away from drugs and begin to pursue the meaning of their life. There are many ways to convince a person to stop using at least temporarily and during that time, with counseling, they can realize a lot while they are clear headed and a new beginning can start.
Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist. For more information, please call 661-299-1966 or email him at Scott@Life-Mind.com .