Now that we know how to meet other singles here in the Santa Clarita Valley, let’s review the profiles that we’ve kept (or are about to place) online, just in case.
We all know that first impressions are hard to overcome, right? When you post a profile and an essay with an online dating site, your picture, username and first few words will help your potential mate determine, with just the click of the mouse, whether or not you’re right for him/her. There are some lines in these written essays about ourselves that we should avoid at all cost.
Here’s one I’ll never understand: “I work hard, and play even harder” (usually followed by: I’m very easy going). I have to tell you, I’m so not looking for someone that plays hard. To me, life is to be enjoyed. We work hard at our jobs, or to keep our bodies in shape. We work hard in the yard and, theoretically, at some of our relationships. But if someone has to work hard at playing, doesn’t that defeat the whole idea of playing? Playing, to me, should be easy, joyful, relaxed. My idea of playing includes dinner and a movie, or walking around Valencia Town Center and window shopping, or meeting for drinks or coffee. What’s so hard about any of those? When I read “Work Hard and Play Harder” — Delete!
Then there’s this one: “My friends will tell you that I’m friendly, kind, intelligent, blah, blah, blah.” We can all imagine what a friend would say. Why else would they be our friends? What I want to know is, what would your enemies say about you, aye? Would they say that you’re intelligent? Kind? A real “catch?” This, to me, is a waste of advertising space. There’s nothing useful in that kind of statement. One creative man wrote about himself from his dog’s perspective — very clever!
Additionally, we all know that the term “cuddling” went out in the ‘80s, as did “walking along the beach at sunset, holding hands,” Gag me with a spoon!
More don’ts: “I’m in the process of ending a 20-plus year relationship.” “Looking for a woman younger than myself.” “I’m easy going, fit, intelligent and attractive.” My advice, don’t tell people you’re attractive. It smacks of egotistical. Of course, there are many more. But my biggest issue, above all the rest? Bad spelling. Reread your essay. Use spell check before submitting it. Have someone else read it for clarity and flow. Maybe it’s because I’m a writer and bad spelling/grammar are like nails on a chalkboard (do they still make those?) but guess which button I hit when I can’t make sense of even the most gorgeous man’s essay? You got it — Delete!
Questions or comments? Please email me at writelove@sbcglobal.net .