Are you nostalgic about a time when you felt you had more control over your life? I have a theory about why this may be so.
Unless I relinquish my power to others, I theoretically have total control over myself. It’s all the control I have ever had. I choose my thoughts, behavior, values, beliefs, priorities, and feelings. I decide who to spend time with, what gets my attention, and where to go. If I drew my circle of control, it would resemble a bull’s eye on a dartboard. Small — precisely the same size as Obama’s, Schwarzenegger’s, and yours. You see, circles of control come in only one size.
The next circle is my circle of influence. It is larger and expands/contracts with changes in circumstance. From day one we begin to develop our abilities to persuade, coerce, convince, encourage, bribe, tempt, beg, threaten, entice, trick, and pressure others. While I can’t control my friends, family, colleagues, or puppies, on a good day I may be able to influence them, maybe. Don’t tell your kids. If they discover the true limits of your control, parenting will become exponentially more difficult!
Next is my circle of concern. There are many more things I care about than I can ever influence: world peace, global warming, the economy, safety, access to health care, homelessness, immigrants, war, globalization, death, taxes, and interruptions from telemarketers to name just a few. Alas, there are only 24 hours in a day. I have more concerns than hours.
Last is the largest of all — my circle of awareness. It grows with each passing day. Advances in technology enable me to be more informed than at any other time in history. I am inundated by television, Twitter, blogs, websites, newspapers, magazines, books, newsletters, radio, pod casts, Internet, e-mail, snail mail, faxes, advertisements, cell phones, land lines, and those telemarketers. The relative disparity between my teeny weenie circle of control and my huge circle of awareness is mind-boggling.
So, here’s what I figured out: I don’t have less control, I have more awareness! I should probably quote the Serenity Prayer at this point, but I’ll spare you. Instead, maybe I’ll just plunge my head into the sand.
Call Debbie to schedule a consultation with her for therapy/coaching in Valencia at 661-259-5986 or Encino at 818-385-0550.