How’s your track record when it comes to relationships? How do you feel about choices you’ve made? Do you know what qualities to look for in a partner? Do you know how to develop and nurture a healthy relationship? We’re not born with the knowledge of how to choose a partner and develop and keep a relationship new and alive. Being a reaction to our parents may not work for us. Have you taken the time to learn the simple, basic skills that make relationships more effective and enjoyable? Whether you’re seeking a partner or looking to enhance your existing relationship, do you feel you’re prepared to succeed?
Frequently, the type of partner we attract or are attracted to isn’t healthy for us. Though we know that certain traits energize us, we need to understand how to see the whole package. Some traits we appreciate aren’t promoted as ideal by society. Therefore, potential partners who have these traits may see them as liabilities and feel insecure and inadequate. Lavishing praise on these individuals won’t undo the indoctrination they’ve already received. They need to believe it themselves before they can believe it from you. Having a relationship with an insecure feeling person is an emotional drain.
Before choosing a partner, we need to know ourselves, which means seeing ourselves as we are, not as we want to be. We must be realistic in our view of ourselves, just as we need to be realistic in our view of our partner. Discover your assets and liabilities. Know what you bring to a relationship. Differentiate between the quality of our partners and the quality of our choices.
Learn what type of partner is healthy for you, along with the tools that make relationships easier, more satisfying and pleasurable. Find out how to attract and keep a person’s interest, how to energize a relationship and how to communicate effectively. Education is the key to happiness and fulfillment. Learn before the opportunity passes you by. Problems don’t need to be fixed when we avoid unnecessary conflict. Understanding yourself, your partner and your relationship is the first step toward fulfilling your dream.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-251-7748 or 661-269-4704.