As an addiction counselor I see a lot of families in tremendous pain. It is the hardest part of my job and the only comfort is knowing that if I work hard and get them to work hard, the pain they experience can be transmuted into joy and healing and an even more profound appreciation for life than they ever had before. Often when I meet them they are exhausted from trying to help their addicted loved one and want to give up.
Don’t give up. As a recovered addict I can tell you that every attempt my family made over the years during my using contributed to my ultimate sobriety. I thank God that my mom never stopped loving me and wanting more for me; it was a beacon of light that I was drawn to when everything else seemed so dark and black. I know why so many loved ones are ready to quit; it can seem so hopeless – investing time, money and emotion only to see their addicted loved one relapse to drugs. But when it pays off you will not regret one cent you spent, one tear you shed or one hour you lost and they will truly be grateful to you. I know.
Don’t think of giving up because things haven’t worked – try something different. I recently heard a recovered addict on television tell about how he was only second to Robert Downey Jr. in rehab visits with near 100 times. This is not a persistent addiction; this is a failed recovery system. A real program that is more interested in saving a client than meeting their profit quotas knows how to get that addict to hit rock bottom without taking 100 opportunities to do it. Once rock bottom is hit, the recovery process can begin. It isn’t the time, money and emotion that is being wasted it is where and how you spend it that counts. Recovering families are going to suffer; that’s a fact. But that suffering can, and should, be productive – towards an end that is definable and attainable. As counselor’s we need to draw a straight line between using and sobriety and do everything we can to get the addict to walk that line without detour. That’s not the family’s job – it’s mine.
Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Life-Coach Hypnotherapist and Bio-Feedback Technician. For more information, please call 661-299-1966 or visit www.Life-Mind.com .