It’s not where most expect to find it. It’s in the workplace, the military, and in government. It knows no borders or boundaries. It transcends age, gender, socioeconomic status, sexual preference, race, religion, and medical condition. While most complain bitterly about how unfair, unjust, and intolerable it is, many create it for themselves and others in the privacy of their own homes.
I’m referring to glass ceilings – those artificial limits created to prevent capable and qualified individuals from realizing their full potential. How can intelligent and caring people find these barriers intolerable in public yet tolerate them behind closed doors?
In my work, I often hear men and women describe ways they feel constrained by the people who supposedly love them. I hear just as many who seek to formulate strategies to place barricades around the dreams and aspirations of the people they say they love. What’s up with that? When does limiting yourself or trying to place someone else in bondage qualify as loving gestures?
If you love me, don’t try to keep me from reaching my potential or from becoming a better version of me. I can get in my own way, thank you very much. Instead, become my cheerleader, advisor, mentor, or advocate. Encourage me. Help me evaluate my progress and reach beyond my own limiting beliefs. Perhaps I can contribute to you this way. My goodness, if I were to learn I had become an obstacle or a source of discouragement to someone seeking to be their best self, I would be ashamed and disappointed in me.
In addition to all those other requirements we have for each other, be sure to pay attention to relationship floors and ceilings. Look for alliances offering a strong and reliable foundation. Become the bedrock that supports loved ones when they need something solid beneath their feet. Strong floors can keep us from sinking too far. Avoid relationships, personal and professional, with unyielding and low ceiling clearances. It might be nice to enjoy the protection of a canopy from time to time; but when the roof above becomes a barrier and the floor below fails to provide enough support, it may be time to consider a relationship renovation and rebuild.
Call Debbie to schedule a consultation for therapy/coaching in Valencia at 661-259-5986 or Encino at 818-385-0550.