Even though the old saying “opposites attract” is frequently true, living with someone who does not share the same values regarding clutter and disorganization can be a very stress inducing issue for those people who are orderly. There are many studies that highlight the potential for conflict between people with dissimilar organizational habits. Even Dr. Phil addressed the situation on his show when a wife thought she was a bad spouse because she was unable to organize her life and her frustrated husband thought she was a bad role model for their children. Pop culture or not, disorganization and clutter can impact relationships!
The emotions that go along with this scenario frequently contribute to strife in relationships: disagreements about how the house should be kept; frustration about losing or misplacing important items all the time; children unable to live in a peaceful, orderly environment.
Physical clutter affects people physically, mentally and emotionally. It affects the energy in the environment. If a room is balanced and in order, you will feel balanced and in control, and being in control relieves stress. Physical clutter and confusion may also indicate internal confusion and difficulty thinking clearly which makes people feel out of control and overwhelmed.
If you and your significant other have differing tolerance for disorganization and clutter, you can immediately improve the situation by simply clearing clutter in shared areas such as the kitchen, living room and family room. Next, you need to develop an organizing system that is easy, manageable and fits the lifestyle of each family member.
Time management and routines are key to getting organized and staying organized. Also, learning how to structure each day using systems that work with and to the strengths of each person and their lifestyle. Your important relationships work best when the level of unnecessary stress is minimized. If there are organizing differences within the relationship that result in an increase in stress, don’t ignore the problem. Like any other relationship difference, it will not resolve itself without your direct participation. Don’t be afraid to call in reinforcements. With the advent of the Professional Organizing industry, there are people who understand this situation and can help you get started toward resolution and a more satisfactory relationship.
If you have questions for “The Mess Doctor” or need professional assistance to start getting organized, contact Barbara Ricketts (LifeStyle Management Associates) at LMAssociates@comcast.net or TheMessDoctor.com or call 661-263-0124.