Who Pays?
The results are in! A couple of months ago, the question came up regarding who should pay at the end of those first few crucial, precedent-setting dates. I have to stop here to thank all my readers who took the time to vote, many of whom sent additional comments justifying their choices. I appreciate all of your opinions and the kind, respectful way in which you shared them.
You were asked to email your vote for each of the scenarios below, and give your age and gender as well. Men and women between the ages of 41 and 63 responded.
Boy Pays Girl Pays
1. Boy meets Girl. Boy asks Girl out.
Females 40-49 100% 0%
Males 50-59 100% 0%
Females 50-59 100% 0%
Females 60-63 100% 0%
2. Same as above, but Girl asks Boy out.
Females 40-49 25% 75%
Males 50-59 80% 20%
Females 50-59 100% 0%
Females 60-63 100% 0%
3. Boy meets Girl. After a nice conversation, Girl orders a drink at the bar in front of Boy.
Females 40-49 50% 50%
Males 50-59 100% 0%
Females 50-59 0% 100%
Females 60-63 100% 0%
Special occasion (his birthday, promotion, etc.). Girl suggests a celebration dinner.
Females 40-49 0% 100%
Males 50-59 60% 40%
Females 50-59 0% 100%
Females 60-63 0% 100%
To break it down into somewhat easier terms, it looks as if men who want to pay (50-59) should be dating women in their 60s, but if they want to be treated to a night out, they should stick to women their own age. Everyone believed that the men should pay on the first date (if he asked her out). Even then, many male readers insist they would put up a fight first, as men believe that they should pay, at least initially. The only time that it seems overwhelmingly agreeable for a woman to pick up the tab is for a special occasion.
Finally, to be fair, I must confess that I threw out one vote. I apologize to the 31-year-old gentleman who sent his vote in. He might well be representative of his age, but with only one vote, we can’t be sure. He believes the boy should pay at all times, except on that special occasion.
Not to change the subject, but let’s spend a minute or two talking about Facebook. I finally posted after the constant nagging of my friends and, wouldn’t you know it, I’ve connected with old friends. I suppose, if you’re a teen, FB represents the present – your friends, being and staying social, popularity, etc. If you’re an adult in local business, it’s a way to keep your customers current with your latest movements. But my friend, who is my age, stated it this way: For people of our age, FB is, by default, a trip down memory lane. The minute you post, your mind goes in reverse. Names that you haven’t thought of in years pop up. And you begin to search…
Next month, the dinner I had last week with an ex-boyfriend from four years ago, and the lunch I’m going to have with the ex from 30 years ago! Don’t you just love technology?
Questions/comments? Write to Julie: writelove@sbcglobal.net