I receive many referrals from parents that are having problems with their children or teens. The parents’ frantically schedule an appointment, come into my office, and explain how many problems their child is having. Many times stating that they are fearful that their youth won’t be receptive to therapy and asking how can I help them. After running down a list of behaviors and introducing me to their child, they want to know what I think. Depending on the child’s age, I usually ask the youth to go into the waiting room and I speak to the parents alone.
The first question I ask is “Besides your child’s behavior problems, what else is going on at home?” I ask this question because it tells me what your child is experiencing in supposedly his most secure environment. If things are chaotic then your child is going to be acting out as a result of that chaos. Many improvements can be made without your child even coming into my office. I have seen great changes in children just by improving communication with parents or helping parents through their own relationship problems. For some parents this is not as easy as bringing your child to me and asking that he be “fixed.” Most of the time, there is nothing wrong with your child instead, it is what is wrong with his environment.
As a parent, this may feel like blaming, however, it is not. You love your children, but they don’t come with a manual and we all make mistakes.
Here at Goodman therapy, we recognize that the family is a system. No one person inside of the system is the only cause for the system breakdown, it is the family as a whole that needs change and most of the time that begins with the creators of the system, you the parents. So, it is not a shameful act to admit you need help instead it is a great gift to give your child by admitting you are not perfect and you can also be part of the change that is needed. Furthermore, going to therapy for your issues in order to better your life as well as theirs first shows them the level of dedication you have to yourself and the family, as well as teaches them the route to take when they are presented with issues that they can’t fix on their own.
Please call us today for a free first session to see if we can be of service to you. For more information, please contact Goodman Therapy at 661-932-8200 or 323-839-9874. You may also email: Donaldgoodman05@aol.com.