If he/she cheats on you, should you take it personally, or not? And if he/she doesn’t?
If he/she says an unkind word to you, should you take it personally, or not? And if he/she doesn’t?
If he/she follows through on a promise to you, should you take it personally, or not? And if he/she doesn’t?
If he/she drinks, gambles, or does anything too much, should you take it personally, or not? And if he/she doesn’t?
If he/she acts violently toward you in word or deed, should you take it personally, or not? And if he/she doesn’t?
If he/she says, “I love you” or “thank you,” should you take it personally, or not? And if he/she doesn’t?
Here’s a news flash: It isn’t always about you! That doesn’t mean you aren’t impacted, but what someone else does or says is about them, not you! Think about it…
If he/she says “I love you” does that mean you are more loveable than if those words had not been spoken? No!
When unpleasant things happen to you, does that mean you are a bad person? No!
If you win the lottery, does that mean you are a good human being? You may be good, but not because you win the lottery!
If you spend the holidays more alone than you want to be, does that mean you are unworthy to be with others? No!
Lest I convince you to abdicate responsibility, please be assured that I firmly believe the world would be a better place if each of us takes the time to examine our own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, words, values, priorities, opinions and to figure out how we have and continue to contribute to our own circumstances. If we do that, we’ll surely find ways to be more effective before, during, and after similar events in the future. But, when it comes to someone else’s behavior, feelings, or words, it stops being about you and reflects totally on them.
During this gifting season, I wish you the wonderful rewards that come from careful reflection, and by taking what you do and say (not what they do and say) very personally!
Happy holidays!
Call Debbie to schedule a consultation for therapy/coaching in Valencia at 661-259-5986 or in Encino at 818-385-0550.