I have had a few girlfriends in my life, but not until after my divorce have I encountered what I am going to share. It actually started a couple years ago. I started dating this very nice “fortyish” lady. We hit it off right away. Our first date was great; yes a coffee date that lasted a couple hours. There was even a quick kiss when it ended. Things were looking good. We talked and texted daily and went out every weekend for a month. Everything was perfect; okay here it comes, except for one little thing. It happened on our fifth date. We decided to go out for breakfast, and afterwards she said how about going up the coast to the beach? It was a spur of the moment idea, and I said sure. That was one of the best dates I ever had. We spent all day at the beach, and did not get back home until late. When we said goodnight she gave me a quick kiss and went in.
As I drove home I could not help but wonder what went wrong. Why was this not a long intimate kiss? Maybe she was not that interested. Could it be she did not really know how to kiss? I mean how hard is it to kiss? Like me, I am sure you have all kissed someone who did not know how to kiss back. I had to know, and not to appear shallow, but I wanted to date someone who knows how to kiss passionately. I really liked her, so on our next date I asked her why the quick kiss? Her answer took me by complete surprise. She told me that in order for her to be totally involved, I had to ask her to be my girlfriend. This has happened with a few other women since then. I ended up asking her to be my girlfriend, and found out she was a very good kisser. I had the feeling that it seems like women may feel if you ask them to be your girlfriend that you will not cheat on them. Just like saying, “I Do” when you are getting married. Unfortunately some people cheat no matter what. That is what happened to me right after I made her my girlfriend. It seems that she was just using me to make someone else jealous. I had found out the hard way that actions speak a lot louder than words.
Any thoughts just write Paul at scvsingle@aol.com.