As a family law attorney, I frequently hear this from people the first time they walk into my office. The first thing I tell them is that people who spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not something is “fair” tend to have difficulties while going through a divorce. Divorce is a process, governed by laws and precedent.
Determining what’s fair and what isn’t can be a tough call in many areas of life, in business, in sports, even the grade on your child’s last test. However, nowhere is it more difficult than in the midst of a marriage ending.
If you are going to get divorced or in the midst of a divorce, a very hard, yet realistic fact that clients must face is, decisions in divorces are not based on what you, your soon-to-be ex-spouse, or a judge thinks would be fair. And in divorce court, arguing about whether something is fair is usually a waste of time and money. Divorce court decisions are made by applying laws and past case decisions to facts that are presented at your hearings and trials. The hardest part to deal with sometimes is that all of this is being decided, ‘judged’ by someone who doesn’t even know you.
Despite the above, human decency sometimes triumphs over the odds. We don’t hear about it as much since as a society we focus on the ‘entertainment’ aspects of Divorce, but there are a sizable share of the people going through divorces who genuinely want to be fair to their soon to be ex.
Now, that being said, everyone involved simply feels best when the judge’s decision accomplishes something that seems fair for all and not exaggerated to one party or the other in a divorce proceeding.
Some people unfamiliar with the judicial system believe that trials are designed for judges to hear evidence and then decide what is fair. But there are two major reasons why they don’t work that way: human subjectivity and the reality of the legal system.
The American justice system requires that exactly the same laws and principles must be applied to every case that comes through the courts. The problem is that often the ‘law’ can’t take into account the complicated human issues that appear in divorce. In too many instances, the laws simply don’t fit into the reality of what is happening in court or for that matter in the lives of those going through a divorce.
The fact remains, if we didn’t have laws that all judges applied in deciding each and every case, the judicial system would simply be too unpredictable. The positive side of this typically one-size-fits-all approach is that with the laws and precedents available, a seasoned, educated and experienced “family law” attorney knowledgeable in family law and continues to remain updated with recent changes in the law and cases, is able to not only advise with better precision and clarity, a seasoned “family law” attorney can assist their clients with strategy, reasonable settlement alternatives, and cost of their case. That’s a ‘fair’ way to put it.
For more information please contact the Law Office of Steven B. Chroman at 661-414-7107.