Kids seem insane don’t they? Don’t worry, you’re not crazy for thinking this, they are insane. But it’s not their fault. Between modern society, community standards, screwy brain chemistry and a developing personality, most of this insanity is… uh… normal. That sucks to hear, I know. It doesn’t mean you don’t have some things to do to contain or minimize it. If not treated, crazy adolescents can become crazed adults and/or create patterns or situations that reach far into their futures. But of course you know this which is why you feel exhausted and desperate all the time. You must remember that as much as they rebel and reject you, you are their first and last line of defense to their own raging insanity.
They need you! They need you to intervene, tolerate, take their abuse and love them anyway, regardless of how they insist they don’t. But intervening can be tricky. I’ve taught parents a lot of tactics to get their kids to get help, even bribery (and it worked like a charm). Once they’re here, they get a lot out of it and want to return. It’s my job to be artful and skilled enough to pull that off. The parents’ job is to get them here the first time. Every kid is different so I advise different tactics for different kids. When vetting out a professional remember this decision may be one of the most critical ones you make for your son or daughter. Sure, insurance coverage can be important, but remember that insurance companies don’t select their professionals based on talent or success; it’s a business deal and many of them are underpaid and under qualified. Be thorough, ask questions and if you don’t feel satisfied in their answers and genuine responsiveness to you and your precious cargo then move on to someone who does, regardless of cost. Pay now or pay later!
What counts most is experience and an ability to connect to kids and make them feel not only comfortable, but interested in coming back! As a family counselor I train parents how to deal with troubled kids so the kids can get better in addition to helping the kid work out their issues. There is a bright light at the end of the tunnel… it will work out with a little (lot) help. But don’t wait… every day counts.
Scott Spackey is a state Registered Addiction Specialist, Counselor, Interventionist, Life-Coach, Hypnotherapist and Bio-Feedback Technician. For more information, please call 661-299-1966, email: Scott@Life-Mind.com and visit www.life-mind.com.