Recently, I was on an airplane and had the pleasure of listening to the safety briefing for the hundredth time. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m fully in favor of knowing how to exit the airplane in an emergency. I like knowing there is an emergency exit in case something goes deathly wrong and I need a way out fast. Don’t you agree?
Sometimes, I think we approach our marriages the same way. When your spouse picks the same argument for the hundredth time and there’s no resolution in sight, or when you are just so tired of worrying about what she’s going to say or how he’s going to react, or when you’re so lonely you find yourself having entire conversations with the dog because he’s the only one who listens – don’t you sometimes entertain the idea of getting out fast?
If we’re being honest about it, we all dream of the perfect relationship. You know, the one where your partner is sensitive to dreams and desires, where romance and passion are everlasting, and where there’s laughter and fun on a regular basis. We are surrounded by the idea that true love exists and we all just need to find our soul mates to find a love that can last forever.
As a marriage counselor with 15-plus years of experience, I have learned that a marriage that lasts is a marriage that isn’t based on Hollywood expectations and has no emergency exits. It is based on a promise that cannot be broken. It believes that divorce is not an option. It focuses not on the problems, but on finding solutions. It seeks to overcome and not be defeated.
Do you want your marriage to go the distance? Do you want to be celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary with the partner of your youth? Do you want others to be inspired by your love and wish they had the kind of relationship you have? If the answer is “yes” and you are ready to find solutions besides divorce, but your relationship has encountered some turbulence, lost some of its passion, or is stuck in a rut, then it’s time to see a marriage counselor. Get the tools you need to restore your marriage to the way it used to be, to find the love again, and to enjoy each other as before.
Debbie Reed, M.S., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (Lic.# MFC 37039) with a private practice in Santa Clarita. If you or someone you know would like some additional help with creating a marriage that lasts, please call Debbie at 661-287-4243 for a free phone consultation.