Joanne and Tony throw the best keg parties in town. The beer flows and a designated teen collects car keys at the door. Teens mill around shouting over the pounding music. Joanne and Tony are so popular they could have been voted Prom King and Queen.
Ironically, Joanne and Tony graduated high school 25 years ago, and this is their son’s party.
Some parents see drinking as a sign of adulthood. There is a belief that once someone has graduated from high school, they are an adult. But they’re still under 21 – and drinking is illegal. Some parents seek the approval of their teens, and want to be heroes in the teen arena. I am astounded they think as long as they are serving the alcohol, they can control their kids and other kids’ actions.
These parents regard themselves as enlightened crusaders for their teens. They walk the teenage walk and talk the teenage talk. They’re so desperate to be considered cool by their kids that they believe the law doesn’t apply to them. They think they’re wiser and know better than the parents who won’t provide alcohol. They don’t even acknowledge or understand their own irresponsible actions.
When you add drinking to natural teenage curiosity and pleasure seeking, the results can range from the lowered self-esteem of a girl who had sex with several guys at a party, to tragedies like drunk driving and killing someone.
Allowing teens to drink at home is often to blame for excessive teen drinking. Your teen may whine, “You’re the only parent who won’t let their kids drink when they’re seniors.” Underage drinking is a factor in nearly half of all teen automobile crashes. It also contributes to suicides, homicides and fatal injuries, and is a factor in sexual assaults and date rapes.
I urge parents to rethink what “responsible drinking” is for someone under the age of 21. Parents think they did it, so their kids can do it, too. After all, parents don’t want to acknowledge what they did as teens as being wrong. Guess what, in this instance, it’s okay to be the hypocrite.
Cary Quashen is a certified addiction specialist and the founder and president of ACTION Parent & Teen Support Group Programs, ACTION Family Counseling Centers, and the Action Zone Teen Center. Quashen can be reached at 661-297-8691.