Explosive teen anger is real and it’s not a normal phase teens are going through.
Anger is regarded as negative; we’re taught that it’s all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions, but not to express anger.
As a result, we don’t learn how to handle it or channel it constructively. It is often how anger is expressed, and that expression of anger can become destructive. There are a number of reasons for explosive anger in teens. Sometimes anger is used as a form of control, sometimes anger is a form of manipulation, some times anger is a sign of depression, and sometimes anger is fear and sadness.
Anger is a cover-up emotion, a sign that says something is wrong. But the real problem is always underneath.
Physical or verbal abuse at home, alcohol or drug problems in the family, divorce or loss of a loved one, economic distress, learning disabilities, or physical illness could be the root of a teen’s anger.
Teens express their anger in a variety of ways. Symptoms of outward directed anger include yelling and screaming, throwing things, hitting objects and people, and driving too fast.
Symptoms of inward directed anger include lack of eye contact during conversations, mumbling, instead of speaking clearly, lack of interest in any activities, a sullen disposition, and drug or alcohol use.
No one knows for sure when a teenager’s anger could become dangerous to themselves or others. But the following signs indicate that a teen may need professional attention:
• Raging behavior, in which the teen is uncontrollable.
• Consistent explosions of temper, even short-lived, at the slightest provocation.
• Drastic changes in a teen’s behavior—from sullen to unnaturally energetic, or from extremely energetic to sullen.
• Physically hanging back from the group on a constant basis, never participating in activities.
• Consistently blaming life for treating him unfairly.
• Cruelty to any animal.
• Behavior that causes an adult or others in a group to become afraid or uncomfortable around the teenager.
If your teen has a problem with anger, it’s your job to help them develop positive conflict resolution techniques. If your child has long-lasting feelings of anger or is unable to adopt coping strategies, seek medical assistance and treatment.
Cary Quashen is the president and founder of Action Parent & Teen Support Group Programs and Action Family Counseling. For further information call 661-297-4660 and visit www.actionfamily.org.