Inner Circle Foster Families are very excited when they first bring a child home with them. After hours of preparation, they are thrilled when the news arrives that a placement is available. Their compassion and their preparation to share their home and happiness with a child is a sight to be seen. However, the child needs time to adjust to new surroundings and people. Many children react to separation and loss in a variety of ways. They may be anxious, have trouble sleeping, have appetite changes, or be high strung.
Inner Circle establishes visits for the children with their parents or relatives. It is very important that the atmosphere is comfortable and the individuals who are there for the visit are respectful of one another. There is accompanying pain and despair when families experience temporary or permanent separations. Whatever the circumstances, there is a need to remain neutral and understanding. The loss of a child no matter what the circumstances is devastating. It can lead to hard feelings toward the very people who are offering the greatest help to the children. We help our foster and adopt families understand these difficult reactions to loss and the fear people have about children being loved by others.
When a child is older, careful explanations are provided so the child does not feel that the reason he/she is separated from parents is because of something the child has done. Unfortunately, young children often take on the blame even though the circumstances are external (poverty, drug abuse, homelessness, neglect). Inner Circle works by providing assurance to the child that their feelings are important and that their experience will improve. Supportive services are provided for the child, the birth family and the foster/adoptive family.
Foster families often are afraid themselves that their hearts will be broken when a child returns home. However, our families though sad when a child leaves, often feel that the experience was significant in their lives and are willing to move forward and provide care for new children.
Part of life is experiencing separation and loss. If we can help children and families during these difficult times, we are giving them the opportunity to handle future adjustments. No one wants to see children suffer. At Inner Circle we ensure that children going through transitions are given all the support and understanding they need.
If you are interested in being part of our circle of families, please contact me at 818-988-6300, Ext. 203. You can offer hope and make life better for a child dealing with loss.