Having a close friend is one of the greatest buffers against many of the stressors that children face as they grow, and crucial for helping kids develop into well-rounded, happy adults. Forming friendships does not necessarily come easily and naturally for every child, but there is one essential way in which you can Hhelp facilitate the process.
Setting up a play date is the most direct way of helping to promote a friendship.
However, in order to ensure success, planning ahead is critical. Many children are so heavily interested in watching television and playing video games that they are unable to separate from these activities when friends visit. They may even have intense interests in certain activities or toys, which result in the exclusion of the peer, or a meltdown if the toy is damaged or played with “incorrectly. It is important to review with your child prior to a play date that these interests are off limits as possible activities during play dates.
Be proactive in cultivating your child’s interests in a variety of games and activities, so that there are other feasible options besides their highly preferred activities. Ideally, children have a repertoire of games that can include two people, do not encourage aggression, have simple rules, and do not take too long to complete. If such games are not in their repertoire, they will need one-to-one time with you to have a fun experience with a new activity, making it more likely that they will play it with a peer.
Involve your child in the process of selecting whom to have over for a play date. Plan for and make sure that siblings are busy with other activities as the one-to-one time your child spends with a peer during play-dates is the most crucial component. Prepare the area where the children will play so that it is clean and have snacks on hand for breaks (be mindful of possible food allergies). Your role will be to supervise the play date but without becoming overly involved, such as providing the entertainment. Keep the play date short to ensure you end on a successful and positive note.
Check in with your child after the play date is over and find out how they felt about it. Ask if they had a good time, what they liked about it, and if they would want another play date with the same peer. It may take multiple tries to find the right match, but successful play dates will establish a foundation upon which your child can build a lasting friendship.
Working With Autism is located at 16530 Ventura Blvd, Suite 510 in Encino. For more information, please call 818-582-2210 and visit www.workingwithautism.com.