Bullying can be physical or verbal, it can happen in person or on-line, and adolescents who struggle with social skills are often at a risk for experiencing it. You can help empower your child to reduce the likelihood of him or her becoming a target of a bully. It is important for kids to understand that no one ever deserves to be bullied, and knowing what a bully is looking for can help to avoid being a victim. Some reasons why kids may bully include; they are being bullied themselves, they want to look tough or feel powerful, they are jealous of the child they are bullying, or they are trying to escape their own problems.
Teens can protect themselves by not reacting to a bully. Bullies want to see an emotional reaction and showing anger or fear encourages them. Bullies want the victim to remain silent and not tell anyone about what they’ve said or done. If a child is bullied, it is imperative that they tell an adult right away. Bullies typically pick on children who are “different” in some way, perhaps based on how they look, dress, act, or based on race or sexual orientation. If a bully makes fun of your child for their red hair, or how they talk, the best response is a factual one such as “Yes, I do have red hair” followed by walking away. This doesn’t mean agreeing with the bully, but rather taking away their power. Bullies like to pick on kids who are all alone, so just remaining within sight of an adult can decrease a child’s chances of being bullied.
Teens should be aware that it is never a good idea to fight back or try to get even with a bully, as this will just worsen the situation. Teens can be given tools to cope with the stress associated with being bullied, such as exercise, meditation, positive self-talk, muscle relaxation, and breathing exercises. Teach your child to be a “self-advocate” and speak up for himself or herself. For example, they can write down what happened, including when, where, who was involved, and what they would like to see changed. Children should know that they have a right to feel safe and to request the help of adults in ensuring this.
Working With Autism is located at 16530 Ventura Blvd, Suite 510 in Encino. For more information, please call 818-582-2210 and visit www.workingwithautism.com.