Note: We recently received this letter addressed to SMO single parents from a parent who could not attend our Make a Mother’s Day event where she was to be honored. We thought it so poignant, we wanted to share it with our community…
You have no idea how courageous you are right this minute.
By simply sitting in this room, amongst women who have been where you are now takes more courage than you know. To be present in the space you are in right now and to be able to know enough to know you need to be here is absolutely monumental. You need to take a minute, look around and breathe. It may not be ok now. You may feel out of place. You may feel embarrassed, scared or nervous. It’s normal. It wears off. I promise.
This is not an easy walk. It just isn’t. Only another single parent really understands where your head is right now. Take comfort in that because SMO is filled with people who are in the same place you are now. For today, you have to be honest about where you are at this moment. This is a conversation you have to have with yourself, first. Ask yourself what do you need first.
I didn’t know what I needed at first. Then one afternoon, I was sitting in my bedroom, looking down at a picture of my father who was a true fighter in every sense. I thought to myself, “I can keep swinging blindly and pretend to do it all as a single parent and bring myself to a meltdown or I can take this opportunity to be a student and learn. I can’t be a victim. I need help.” Sometimes courage doesn’t roar. Sometimes courage is a quiet voice. My quiet voice told me I couldn’t do it alone.
The biggest obstacle was coming to the realization that accepting help wasn’t giving up. All too often women think if they don’t get it all under control, they’ve failed. If everyone around them isn’t completely taken care of, they’ve failed. It’s just not true.
So, slowly, over time, you will open up and start to seek out the resources. This won’t happen overnight because you won’t be used to accepting help, but you will need to. It may be first accepting one bag of food. Then it will be one chat with Maria about your situation. You may attend one support group meeting or have a talk with DaAnne. You may even have coffee with someone who has a similar situation. And before you know it, you will find yourself in the SMO community. You may help someone else inadvertently, you may help set up chairs at an event. It comes slowly and in ways that’s good because you will find the path you’re supposed to be on. You will go to an event, and then you may take a class. It will get better. I promise.
Single Mothers Outreach empowers single parents and their children by providing hope, support, and resources so that families can become self-sustaining and thrive.
For more information, visit www.singlemothersoutreach.org.