The ‘Life is Short, Get a Divorce’ Debate A new year approaches…

 When the aforementioned billboard came out people went crazy. Like any good marketing campaign it was successful in sparking controversy and conversation. At the heart of the matter was the underlying truth of the statement itself. But the message, some may say even of hope, was shortly derailed as the slogan was then shrewdly utilized by the Ashely Madison company and morphed into the not so lovely, ‘Life is Short, Have an Affair’ campaign) But let me be very clear. There is a huge difference in these two messages, and the first one remains a worthwhile discussion.
Marriage, as we know, was born out of politics. It was a way to gain wealth and power. Love was not a driving factor, in fact it was often the obstacle to a ‘good marriage’. Then in the late 1800s there was a shift, and people began to marry for love. But the politics were never really far behind. As a married couple, in love, the many financial benefits could not be ignored. From taxes and healthcare to overall spending in a household, it was fortuitous to be a couple versus an individual. Slowly we started to move back toward marriage as a business on paper rather than about finding your loving soulmate.
Many people, especially around the holidays, begin to question their happiness. Some stay for the sake of a family unit. Life is indeed easier when you don’t have to part ways emotionally and especially not financially.
Society is once again shifting. As we live longer, and learn more about who we are as individuals, the idea of marriage for life no longer seems to be a given. Never before has a generation waited to marry for so long. In fact, most millennial’s don’t see marriage as an option at all. Why is it necessary they ask? Unfortunately, it is a financial answer that comes to mind first. Saying ‘because it makes you stick it through’ is their exact argument as to why marriage is a dying concept.
Many people were raised on the notion that if your marriage doesn’t succeed it is your fault. That you are a failure. I always tell my clients the failure would be living an inauthentic life. Family, health and happiness is what should come first. Your children will always be your family, marriage or not. Living in a way that promotes acceptance and understanding and growth are signs of evolvement, not failure.
So, as we approach this new year, I ask you to engage in the debate. Marriage is work. It is one of the hardest jobs one can ever have and for some life is indeed too short.
Most importantly, if you know someone who is going through the tough time of divorce or separation, please don’t judge, rather be there for them and remind them that we only have one life on this earth and it should be done so in all its potential. No billboard can tell you what is right or wrong. Only you can decide what the meaning of life is to you.
We wish you and yours a happy, healthy and inspired New Year. Happy 2016.
For more information on divorce coaching, mediation, custody and support call to schedule your complimentary consultation with the award winning Law Offices of Steven Chroman at 661-255-1800 or visit us at www.chromanlaw.com.