How Rich Are Your School Conversations?

 Oprah ends each issue of Oprah Magazine with an article in which she talks about things she has learned.  She calls this page, “What I Know for Sure.”  I have always enjoyed reading that article, perhaps because it is always comforting to be able to learn tips of “wisdom” from other people’s experiences.  As an Educator/Parent/Administrator, one of the things I have learned is that asking the right questions may have a dramatic effect on the type of results you receive.  If you ask a question that can be answered with a simple, “yes” or “no” response, then you will likely not receive much more than that.  However, a simple change, such as always shaping your question to be open ended, almost always results in a “richer” response.
When I ask parents about their conversations with their children about school, they frequently complain that it is difficult to get their tween or teen children to discuss any specific information about their school day or lessons learned.  When asked, “How was your day?”  They report hearing, “Good.”  When asked, “What did you do today at school?”  The response is typically, “Nothing.” In fact, the conversation ends up being so unsatisfying that both parties become a bit frustrated with one another and move on.
Here are some questions for starters, “How would you rate your day today on a scale of 1 to ten?” Please be sure to quickly add, “Why?” when you receive a response.  “Are there any supplies you may need for a project or paper we should plan to pick up?’ This is a great one that may serve as a reminder to save you time from that last minute trip out to retrieve such.  “What one thing did any of your teachers share with you today that you found helpful or enlightening?”  I think by now you see where I am going with this line of questions.  Basically, any question that evokes something more than a “yes” or “no” is fair game to try.
The goal here is to ask questions that will open up a line of communication that just may lead to your child sharing something that is confusing, upsetting and exciting to him or her that you would have otherwise missed out on hearing.
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