Are you Struggling with your Teenager? There is still hope…

“I feel like my teenager and I are living on two different planets”, is an actual quote that I’ve heard more than once in my practice. There is no worse feeling to a parent than feeling completely out of touch with their child, regardless of their age. However, dealing with a teenager, specifically, can be its very own “stage of life transition”.
Teenagers go through a stage of internal struggle between still needing to rely on their parent while wanting to be independent of them. At the same time, a parent may be going through an internal struggle about feeling relief that their child is finally becoming more independent and feeling the terror of letting them out of their grasp. This stage often feels like a never-ending, no-win, heartbreaking time.  There is hope!
Three things to remember:
1. Never Give Up! This is just a moment in time, it too shall pass. This is when your child needs your unconditional support the most. When this stage is over, your child will look back and thank you for being there for them. You will model unconditional love and resilience simply being there.
2. Be Consistent! Stay firm on your rules and boundaries. It is a teenager’s job to push the limit and try to compromise. You can let your child have input into what the rules and consequences will be, as it shows them their view and feelings are respected, but keep to the agreement and hold firm. This will teach them accountability and responsibility.
3. Don’t take it Personal! Teens can be under a lot of stress. Hormones are raging, social life is chaos, academics are more demanding, and responsibilities are multiplying. When they are feeling overwhelmed, they will often take it out on you. While you may be their “safe place” and sounding board, be clear that you will not tolerate being disrespected. They will learn to stand up for themselves as well; tolerating nothing less than respectful relationships in the future.
This is obviously the tip of the iceberg when it comes to parenting a teen. A pivotal point in both your lives that is worth every minute and every frustrated tear. I would welcome the opportunity to assist you and your family through this very trying time. My goal is to help you understand, accept, and support your teen’s emerging personality while keeping your own sanity.
Call me for more information at 661-645-0914 or email: cparker@scfamilytherapy.com.