What No One Told You About The Mothering Journey

Mothering can be both the most rewarding and difficult journey of your life:
1. Babies were not meant to be brought up in isolation: Historically, new mothers received help from those around them when caring for themselves and their infants after childbirth. In today’s world, new mothers living farther away from their nuclear families, find themselves alone, exhausted and yearning for connection.
2. Caring for a new baby brings up a lot of feelings about our own upbringing and relationships. There is a “juggling act” as we begin to take in our demanding new roles, while living in an emotional “rollercoaster”. Many women get lost in this journey, losing track of who they are and how to care for themselves.
3. Feelings of Guilt. We seem to be experts at this: if the house is not clean enough; if I didn’t make baby food from scratch; if for just one second today, I thought to myself “I can’t do this!”
Here is what you should know:
1. You are not alone! In a recent survey of new mothers, 61 percent found motherhood harder than expected.
2. Don’t forget to take care of you. “Put on the oxygen mask first”. You will be better able to take care of your baby.
3. Implement a healthy exercise, eating and sleep routine.
4. Ask for help! This does not make you a bad mother; it makes you a human being. Keep the lines of communication open with your loved ones.
5. Learn to let go! If the choice is between cleaning the house or spending time with your baby, then the choice is clear. Babies don’t care about how clean the house is, they need you now.
6. Reach out. Build the “tribe” you were supposed to have. You would be surprised to find how many mothers in your community would join you in a heartbeat.
7. In the United States, about one million women experience perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. (For more information, go to www.maternalmentalhealthnow.org) If this rings true to you, seek professional help right away. Early intervention is crucial!
Mayra Bullon, MFT#51475 is a therapist in private practice in Santa Clarita, California. She is an endorsed Infant-Family and Early Childhood Mental Health specialist, with advanced training in Maternal Mental Health.  For more information and community resources, check www.scfamilytherapy.com or contact Mayra at 310-753-2212.