Helping Children Grieve During the Holidays

 The holiday season can be especially hard after the death of a loved one or pet. The changes in tradition, as well as the constant reminders of family and togetherness, can bring up memories of the loss. Remembering and honoring the loved one during the holidays provides opportunities for connection and closure.
1. Validate feelings: It’s important to talk with your child about the death. Encourage your child to share how they are feeling, what they miss about that person or pet, and validate how they are feeling. Grief is like a roller coaster and it’s normal for feelings to range from happy to sad to angry, and everything in between.
2. Discuss changes and create new traditions: Discuss the changes that will occur in your holiday traditions and ask your child for their input.  Consider their feelings when making changes over the holidays. You may want to create a new tradition to remember the loved one. A new tradition could include setting a spot for them at the table, making a special ornament, or visiting the grave.
3. Remember the loved one: Help your child to remember the loved one and use the person or pet’s name. Set aside a certain time to talk about special memories or look at photographs. Finding ways to honor and remember a loved one helps everyone cope with the loss and find closure. Making a card or writing a letter to leave at the cemetery is a great way for children to remember and honor the loved one who died.
Whatever way you choose to spend the holidays, be sure to model that it is okay to cry and be sad. Everyone needs a chance to grieve, even young children. Include everyone in family activities and discussions about grief so that all can find closure. These discussions, new traditions, and activities can help everyone in the family to connect and find peace.
If you would like more information about how to help your child through grief, please contact the offices of Dynamic Interventions at 661-257-1254 or at www.dynamicinterventions.net.