Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

 Self-confidence and self-esteem are traits any parent, coach and mentor would want for their children, athletes and students.  But, do we focus enough on the impact we have on confidence and esteem?  Do we know the extent of our impact on the confidence of those we influence?  According to the Merriam- Webster Dictionary, the definition of self-esteem for kids: a feeling of satisfaction that someone has in himself or herself and his or her own abilities.
The definition of self confidence is nearly identical to the definition of self esteem.  However, in my opinion, esteem in one’s self seems more about how one perceives him or herself.  Where confidence seems to be more about what we can accomplish.  To argue the importance of either would be a one-sided argument.  Or would you prefer a pilot, dentist or surgeon with shaky hands?
As a coach of multiple sports, fitness entrepreneur and a father of seven, I have daily opportunities to both help and hurt the self esteem in youth and adults alike.  Yeah, I said seven kids, but let’s not digress.
Confidence doesn’t come naturally, it’s quite the opposite.  Fear and doubt come far more easily.  Keep in mind, that according to Google, the average toddler hears the word “no” 400 times a day!
I know that fleas hatched in a jar will start jumping higher and higher until the hit the lid of that jar.  They only have to hit that lid once to never jump that high again.  In many ways we can unintentionally be that lid to loved ones.  I have had so many young men tell me that wished they would have played this sport or that sport, but “Mom didn’t want me to get hurt”.  Or “my parents are worried my grades would suffer if I do.”  When I was seven, I told my best friends dad that I wanted to be champion boxer.  He told me that I came from too good of a family, from too good of a neighborhood.  Nearly 35 years later, I remember the sting.  Our job as encouragers is to teach our kids to jump again after hitting the lid and to do so without fear again and again.  Nothing great comes without a little sacrifice and some struggle.
The key is to set challenges that are within reasonable reach.  Praise the achievement, or encourage taking the challenge back on.  I know I may over simplify, but that doesn’t mean you have to over complicate it.
Set reasonable challenges, praise the achievement or redirect to re challenge again reasonably.  It works on dogs, circus animals, children and adults.  Now you know that you make a huge impact, remove “the lid.”
For encouragement of yourself or your children, give me a call or text 661-714-8149.  Until then, no lids.