Helping Kids go Back to School After a Divorce

It’s a love hate time of year. Back to school means the kids are back on schedule, but it also means it’s time to buy new books, purchase school supplies, get carpools organized and so on…
Add divorce or separation into the mix, and your ‘to do’ list just got that much longer! Like anything, preparation is the key to success, so the following are some recommended tips that will help you with your checklist.
• Let the school know – One of the first things newly divorced parents can do for their child or children is to inform the school about family changes. Administrators, school counselors and teachers who will be working with the children or are responsible for them should know what’s going on. School counselors can certainly be a good resource for divorced families as well and provide a safe space where kids can open up and speak about how divorce is impacting them.
• Make routines and transitions simple – If possible, put specific divorce issues on hold while mapping out a plan with your ex-spouse for a school routine. While parents should certainly prepare their kids for going home with the other parent after school, they shouldn’t be overly emotional or make their children upset. Telling them, “I love you,” and making sure they have what they need with them is what’s needed, nothing more.
• Communicate and be civil – Whether you send emails or texts, make a phone call or actually discuss this issue in person, it’s vital to know which parent will help with homework, who wants to go to school meetings and how schedules for extra curriculars or sports will work.
Agree in writing, if it comes to that, whom the teacher can depend on for lunch money, signed forms, field trips, conferences and updates. Also, ask for duplicates of assignments or notices (report cards and other keepsakes if possible). Most teachers are willing to accommodate if they have proper notice.
Ask your children how they feel, and listen – During this change in their lives, kids can be worried about telling their friends about what’s going on or that their parents have gotten divorced. They may or may not know how to communicate their emotions about these topics while in the classroom. This is also a good time to consider a therapist for your child/children, (if you haven’t already) providing an outlet for them to freely discuss their emotions without fear of judgment or upsetting one parent versus the other.
For more information and to schedule your free consultation, please call The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman, P.C., at 661-255-1800 or visit us at www.chromanlaw.com. Mr. Chroman is a Trusted Advisor Award Winner and named Top 100 California Attorney’s with over 20 years of experience and local service. You can purchase Mr. Chroman’s best-selling Divorce Workbook at: https://www.amazon.com/Preparing-Divorce–considering-separation.