Laughing With Di

 After reading the article, “Filming Continues to Flourish in Santa Clarita” in The Magazine of Santa Clarita, I decided to have some fun with it. Santa Clarita is within the “thirty-mile zone” and, therefore, a multitude of locally based shows, shows filmed on location and feature films shot on sound stages are occurring all the time. You will run into them, in what turned out to be a pretty punny play below!
Let’s have a laugh.
ACT I: It was A DOGGONE MYSTERY to “him” why SHARP OBJECTS, a SHOOTER and MYTHBUSTERS were placed in BASKETS on the flight from LA TO VEGAS. Was a murder being planned here? Was it at a happy time when everyone was enjoying the SANTA CLARITA DIET on the plane? Who is “him”?
ACT II: ATYPICALly, after some SHUTEYE, “he” was JUST GETTING STARTED to board the 15:17 TO PARIS. Instead, “he” spent TEN DAYS IN THE VALLEY and uncovered an AMERICAN HORROR STORY bigger than the ANIMAL KINGDOM.
ACT III: The usual suspects (grin) were lined up. The TEEN WOLF, the LAST MAN ON EARTH and the ULTIMATE BEASTMASTER were hauled in. They all said, defiantly, “THIS IS US; ARRESTED.” DEVELOPMENT of their CRIMINAL MINDS was TIMELESS. But their alibis were water-tight. The LAST MAN ON EARTH walked into a bar — thought he found the last woman on Earth — it was only TEEN WOLF in mid-transformation. They were caught on the surveillance cameras. Meanwhile, the ULTIMATE BEASTMASTER was busy adopting a puppy. Aww! So, none of them were responsible for planning THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS, the name given to this thorny, corny case. No one was HAPPY; TIME was running out; and there was no MURDER.
ACT IV: The FEAR FACTOR was still high but A WRINKLE IN TIME was long enough for a RAY DONOVAN look-alike (“him”) to discover that the SANTA CLARITA DIET was not food-related – it was code for TAN AS CARLITA TIED up.
Yes, Carlita brought the BASKETS filled with weapons on the plane, before she got tied up, to supply the AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D (competing with NCIS: LOS ANGELES) with the means to escape on THE LAST SHIP to WESTWORLD.
ACT V: No cloak. No dagger. No murder. No matter. NCIS doesn’t need a city. A STAR IS BORN when Carlita does an ad for a tanning spa. And, our RAY DONOVAN look-alike is on “his” way to Paris. “He” missed the 15.17.
FIN