Helping Kids Manage Stress

Stress is inevitable; however, unmanaged stress can have devastating effects on children and can lead to anxiety, depression and other mental health disorders. Not only this, but the toll stress can take on our physical health has been well documented everywhere. Particularly in children, stress can manifest in school as negative behavior, lack of self-regulation, and can have a detrimental effect on learning and memory.
It is important to understand that although, as parents, we may not share our adult problems or daily stresses with our children; they internalize what we are experiencing and can take on an overwhelming sense of responsibility and pressure for adult stressors such as money issues, adult conflicts, and other family issues. In addition, children are facing an ever-increasing amount of pressure to perform in a test heavy academic setting in school along with their own developmental, socio-emotional and daily pressures from peers, social media, and the daily reality of bullying. Although children tend to be resilient, it is vital children have access to life-long tools to help manage the ever increasing amounts of stress children are exposed to on a daily basis. It is our responsibility as parents and adults to empower children with effective and life long strategies and skills to help children cope.
The positive effects of relaxation and calming techniques whether through mindfulness training, self-talk and yoga are endless and have immediate positive implications for kids. However, there are specific strategies we can teach our children to manage stress effectively. One simple yet effective technique I utilize in the classroom and with my students is called “Take Five” (Victoria Tennant Consulting through JohnHopkins.edu).
Take Five Instruct child or children to make a fist. This can be done while a child may feel stress or before something stressful. Each finger in the fist is a calming step and reinforces positive self-talk. As the child says each affirmation, he or she releases a finger from the fist.
Take Five Calming Technique
The examples below are only examples and can be modified as necessary to meet the needs of the child.
I notice how I feel. The child verbalizes what he or she is feeling. “ I feel angry, frustrated, sad.”
I accept myself as I am. For example, a child may say, “Even though I am mad, I am still a good kid.”
I can calm myself. Child takes slow and deep breaths.
I notice how I feel now. A child may say, “I am not as angry and can make better choices.” The child gauges his or her body signals and emotions. It may take more than 1-2 times depending on the level of stress the child is feeling.
I tell myself something positive. “I am a great kid and am capable of my personal best.
This has immediate benefits and allows the child to self-efficacy but to self-awareness and self-regulation that only results in positive and lifelong benefits. In addition, children become self-directed by changing their thoughts which leads to positive behavior changes. For further information on this and tutoring services, please contact Samantha Wagner at C Wag Coaching and Tutorial Services, 661-510-2770.