It’s the Principle!

 How much is principle worth to you? At one point or another, couples going through a divorce or separation will find themselves arguing an issue over the principle of a situation. Sometimes the issue itself is not the problem, but how a person feels about the way the other party is handling an issue. It is heard all too often, “but it’s the principle” and heels are dug in and fees go up; which makes for stressful circumstances for everyone involved.
When you come across a situation where you feel that someone should act a certain way or respond in kind, you should first remind yourself that everyone does not have the same views and principles. If we did, divorce may not exist. It’s unfortunate how complicated an issue can become because two viewpoints can be so drastically opposite. We would do good to not expect others to adapt to our position so easily without giving considerable and lengthy thought to theirs.
The fact of the matter is it isn’t that simple, especially in divorce. When approaching a conflict, you really want to consider, what cost you are willing to pay to argue a point simply over principle with someone that may never hear your point. The monetary cost could outweigh the personal costs ten-fold, especially when there are children involved in the conflicts at-hand.
It’s a difficult thing to walk away from an argument you believe is justified. In the interest of self-preservation, it may be of much more worth to walk away from an argument than trying to get someone to do things your way. It’s difficult to be a giver in a give-n-take situation when you feel like you are always being taken from, but that little bit of give you offer one day, may pay-off in another way. It’s always a good rule of thumb to choose your battles wisely and speak up when a situation truly matters most; and if it doesn’t; choose to walk away and conserve your energy and save your strength for more important things.
Significant issues relating to custody and visitation with your children, their safety and well-being should always be a top priority. Notable concerns with support for your family should be addressed as soon as they arise, especially since support tends to evoke strain on all parties and is predominantly a high-conflict topic even for the less contentious individuals. Always remember whatever the issues are, big or small, keep in mind, children shouldn’t ever be a part of the conflict or conversation; maintain those matters between the adults.
It is the policy of our office to work through issues with our clients to help identify and really understand which issues are important to stand your ground on and which issues would be better to let go. If you or someone you know is going through a divorce and need guidance, please reach out to our office for assistance.
For more information and to schedule your free consultation, please call The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman, P.C., at 661-255-1800 or visit us at www.chromanlaw.com. Mr. Chroman is a Trusted Advisor Award Winner and named Top 100 California Attorney’s with over 20 years of experience and local service.