Love, Death, Taxes and Divorce? Common Myths and Truths

Some things in life are certain; love, sometimes. Taxes, yes. Divorce, a realist would say at least one. Yet many often refer to as a failure. Ironically it is often the very institution of marriage itself that expects us to respect and obey harmful issues such as domestic violence, gambling, drinking/drugs and/or lying. Why exiting is considered a failure is an absolute abuse and misuse of the word ‘failure.’
Our current 30-50 generation acknowledges divorce as something that may occur. The “you” generation is accepting of the new ‘marriage’- including realities that marriage is either something no longer required to be in a lifetime partnership, or marry only with the utmost legal protections; such as pre and post nuptial agreements.
The above views are not failures in their thinking. It is a shift in society and understanding of human nature, happiness and longer lives.
While we can still agree on the respect and sanctity of marriage, no one should be forced to live in a situation of abuse, or lies, be silent and therefore consider themselves a failure. This myth needs to be dispensed. Often simply saying, ‘I’m sorry about your divorce’ should be, ‘congratulations on your next chapter in life.’
Another myth to be taken down: Divorce harms children. While it can cause stress, damage is caused by parents fighting in front of the kids. Tension is contagious. Children don’t have the tools or defenses to handle angry exchanges from their parents. Research indicates that what children need more than anything is a stable and peaceful environment. That may be with parents living together, but it can also occur when parents are living apart. The key is that the parents get along and stay present for their children. Kids should not be caught in parental crossfire or used as pawns.
Marriage isn’t easy. It’s something that requires a lot of energy, understanding, and most importantly communication. Just because you’re unhappy at a certain point doesn’t mean divorce is inevitable—every marriage has a bad patch.
But if that bad patch is more than just a patch and you’ve really given it your all, including attending couples counseling, then maybe it’s time to call our Law Office. However, remember, short-lived unhappiness doesn’t warrant an end, or a failure, or unhappy children. It just may be the next step in a life that promises death and taxes and the pursuit of happiness.
For more information and to schedule your free consultation, please call The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman, P.C., at 661-255-1800 or visit us at www.chromanlaw.com. Mr. Chroman is a Trusted Advisor Award Winner and named Top 100 California Attorney’s with over 20 years of experience and local service.