Separated with Children: The Holiday Coin Toss?

As the holidays approach, the stress of last-minute gift shopping is not the real issue for many separated and/or divorced parents- this is the season of who gets what time with the kids. But there are ways to avoid the last-minute stress of these situations.
Try to settle as far in advance of holiday time as possible. It can be hard to decide months in advance as to what holiday is important to you- but having a first and second choice in mind can make negotiations much easier.
Think about an even year – odd year compromise. One parent gets first choice in even years and the other in odd years or simply switch the holiday time on an alternating year basis. Or use your second choice as the alternating years.
Give a little to get a little. When negotiating, on your own or through a mediator, remember the best negotiations keep in mind the fact that neither parent will realistically get 100% of what they want. Compromise is the key. You have got to give something to get something.
Think outside of the box. Many parents have learned that it is not the particular holiday that is important, but the new rituals they can develop. As such, while some parents are simply unwilling to let go of Thanksgiving, Hanukah or Christmas, other parents have learned to celebrate an alternate day as special. Sometimes making your own holiday can make for an even more satisfying experience.
The holidays can be stressful enough with all of the shopping, planning, and visiting of family and friends. The added stress of settling holiday access can upset what should be a happy occasion. Give a little and you will get a little, but most importantly, consider the children. Anytime with family can be just as special as the holiday itself.
Start planning now, now that you have the time to. Do not wait until the last minute, otherwise you may be very disappointed. The Court’s will not settle holiday disputes on an emergency court appearance. They will however address this issue on a regularly calendared hearing date. However, given that most hearing dates are set out 45 to 60 days out, if you have not planned this in advance, you will likely not get before the Court in time. Going to Court can be an expense you want to avoid if you plan accordingly. Alternatively, if you cannot agree amongst yourselves, consider utilizing an experienced family law mediator to help facilitate a reasonable resolution. Our office offers mediation for all family law issues. The use of a mediator as well may also help you resolve these and other is-sues faster than going to Court.
For more information and to schedule your consultation, please call The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman, P.C., at 661-255-1800 or visit us at www.chromanlaw.com. Mr. Chroman is a Trusted Advisor Award Winner and named Top 100 California Attorney’s with over 24 years of experience and local service and a 2021 Super Lawyer. You can purchase Mr. Chroman’s best-selling Divorce Workbook at: www.amazon.com/Preparing-Divorce–considering-separation