How come every house isn’t a dull, square functional structure? Isn’t the purpose of a house to shelter a family? How come every high rise doesn’t look alike? Shouldn’t a high rise simply provide office space? Who cares what it looks like? Isn’t it vain to care about the physical beauty of a building? Why do you care what your car looks like? Isn’t it supposed to simply get you safely from point A to point B? Why would someone care what their jacket or sweater look like? Aren’t they just supposed to keep you warm? While there may actually be a rare person that doesn’t care about the aesthetics of their home, office, car, or clothes, most people care a lot about the appearance of these things. Rightly so, for a very simple reason – it makes you happy. And, I humbly and simply submit that the meaning of life is to exist and be happy. You may have various goals, purposes, projects, desires, or spiritual awareness, but ultimately everything you do is to get you from day to day and hopefully provide you as much joy as possible.
So why would looking physically better through surgery be considered “vanity?” Clearly, it makes us happy to look at physically attractive things. It’s perfectly fine to color your hair and wear make-up. We don’t condemn people for taking care of their health or their bodies. Certainly, someone with an unattractive, disharmonious nose would be much happier with a nicer looking nose that fit their face – so is having cosmetic surgery to fix it a form of vanity? The answer is simply no. Here’s why. We’ve been misusing the word vain for quite some time now. I don’t know where it started but would suggest that the average person doesn’t fully comprehend what’s involved in performing surgery. It’s a very scary proposition to most people. As such, it’s common thought for the average person to assume that anyone willing to take such onerous risks, such as surgery, for the purpose of improving their physical appearance, clearly exemplifies the essence of vanity. The reality is that vanity, whose root word is vain, means doing something that has no significant or positive consequence. To say “he fought in vain” means that in spite of his effort, there was no positive outcome. If your girlfriend (or significant other), who looks perfect, excuses herself from the dinner table, retreats to the bathroom to adjust her hair or make-up to the extent that it makes no difference in her appearance or her happiness, one can easily argue that this behavior was done in vain – it had no positive consequence. This is vanity. If a young women with a big disfigured nose undergoes cosmetic surgery and improves her appearance so that she is no longer displeased or hurt (emotionally pained) by her physical appearance, and, is indeed happy by her new appearance, then she’s had a very positive outcome or consequence. This is not vanity. The surgery was not done in vain.
Not to belabor the point, but the only way cosmetic surgery is successful is if you make the patient happy. There’s no denying that many people seek procedures that will not substantially improve their appearance or make them happy, then these are people that are truly vain. It’s the responsibility of the doctor not to let such patients slip through. Most patients do know what bothers them and what would make them happier. It is the very few that won’t be happier, even with an improved appearance, that the doctor must filter out. However, the vast majority of patients seeking cosmetic surgery are anything but vain. They are people willing to subject themselves to surgery for happiness. People who achieve happiness at great lengths really appreciate their achievement – their efforts were not wasted in vain. Cosmetic surgery is not vanity surgery. If something really bothers you and it’s reasonable to surgically fix it so that your potential happiness outweighs the risks, the expense, and the inconvenience – then no one can accuse you of vanity in your desire to have cosmetic surgery.
To learn more, contact Dr. Berman at 310-473-4545 or schedule a free consultation with him at Beyond Harmony Med Spa.