I would not put up with anybody talking to me the way I’ve talked to my self. I make a mistake and I berate me. I look in the mirror and I criticize me. I face a challenge and I tell my self, “why I can’t overcome it?” Has your self said anything to you like I have heard my self say to me? “I can’t” or “I’m so stupid” or “I’m so ugly” or “I’m such an idiot.”
When your self hears you talking that way, do you feel better or worse? Do you do better or worse? If you’re like me, when you say mean and hurtful things to your self, you feel worse; and when you feel worse, you do worse. Oh, and just in case you haven’t noticed, when you say mean and critical things to others, your self is probably listening to that too!
I have never benefited my self when I’ve talked trash to me. Instead, I’ve made bad situations worse; I’ve pushed myself from sadness to depression; I’ve escalated my embarrassment to shame; and I’ve intensified disappointment to anger. Conversely, with the careful modification of only a word or two, I’ve seen me transform a negative experience into one that was far more useful; I’ve changed a challenge into an opportunity; and I’ve transformed a set-back into a launching pad.
If you want to feel better about you, start by paying attention to what you say. Start talking to your self the way you would speak to a friend. Don’t say “I can’t” when you could say “I won’t.” Don’t say, “I’m so stupid” when you could say “I’ve got something I can learn here.” It may not seem like much, but you’ll be amazed at how much better you can feel when you start talking better to your self. For most of us, when we think/speak better, we choose better. When we choose better, we do better. When we do better, we feel better. And when we feel better, we can fire our therapist! Ugh. What am I saying!
Call Debbie to schedule a consultation for therapy/coaching in Valencia at 661-259-5986 and Encino at 818-385-0550.