As Valentine’s Day approaches, many people are waiting to see what their significant other is going to do to prove their love. Are you looking to be wined and dined? Are you waiting to receive a proposal of marriage? Do you expect cards and gifts? Do you need to get more than just a card to feel adequately adored? Are flowers or candy or jewelry compulsory? Are you feeling pressure to spend beyond your means to meet your partner’s expectations? Are you motivated more by Hallmark than by your feelings for your partner? Are you waiting to see what happens on February 14 before you decide whether or not to break-up?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to any if these questions, you are not alone. Lots of people seek tangible evidence – some kind of visible, touchable, physical symbol to represent affection. Unfortunately, if you are among those waiting to see if your partner does something loving enough on this day, I am sorry to tell you what you probably already know: Your relationship may be at serious risk. Believe it or not, many relationships end around Valentine’s Day.
Of course, behavior on February 14, in and of itself, doesn’t provide the reassurance needed to sustain a lasting relationship. If your partner’s performance on this one day can make or break your decision to stay in it, run don’t walk to your nearest therapist, and bring your partner along with you.
Don’t get me wrong. It is absolutely fantastic to feel loved and normal to want to celebrate it. Knowing someone thinks of you, advocates for you, and stands by you is wonderful. But, there is one thing even more terrific than being loved. Believe it or not, that one more terrific thing is giving love! There is nothing that will warm your heart more than getting to feel and show your love to someone who is happy to be loved by you.
Van Morrison got it right when he wrote, “Have I Told You Lately that I Love You.” To feel truly fabulous on this Valentine’s Day, get yourself out there and tell those you care about, not just your significant other, how much they mean to you.
Call Debbie to schedule a consultation for therapy/coaching in Valencia at 661-259-5986 or Encino at 818-385-0550.