I’ve been asked to write about spouses working a business together. Though this is something that many couples dream of, the dynamic of working together can be challenging. To make this work, the relationship must be very strong and each must have a clear understanding of their specific roles.
Ask yourselves what your objectives are, focusing mainly on how it will affect your relationship and family. Make sure your goals are specific and measurable. Follow up on a regular basis, making sure you don’t lose sight of your objectives. People assume that working together will allow them to spend more time together, letting them work toward common goals. Small businesses require much time and effort, leaving little time or energy for socializing, especially during the first few years of establishing the business. By having realistic expectations, there will be less frustration and disappointment.
Will you be working together as equals or will one be subservient to the other? Having your spouse as your boss can promote imbalances in the relationship. Will those imbalances carry over to the home? How will you deal with disagreements and power struggles? Who is there to mediate? Who has the final say? How will that impact the self-esteem of the other spouse?
For spouses who insist on working together, the best way is for each to have specific responsibilities, with no person answerable to the other. By handling separate aspects, both can be in charge of their own work. This promotes self-confidence and pride in accomplishment. Hold business meetings during office hours or during lunch breaks. Never bring business issues home. Keep work and relationship separate. Just as it is necessary to schedule time for work, we also need to schedule time for the relationship. By blending the two, both will suffer.
An important part of any relationship is each person bringing new things to the relationship. By working together, all your experiences will be the same; so neither will have anything new to share during your couple time. When we work for different companies, we have new experiences to share with each other. Sometimes, these experiences can give the other insight into their own personal work issues. Looking forward to connecting with our partner and sharing things that have impacted us is a very important part of staying bonded with our partner. Don’t lose sight of what makes your relationship special by trading the relationship for a business.
Think long and hard before deciding to work together in a business. Will it be advantageous to your relationship and not just financially? Make sure to show your partner appreciation for what makes them unique. Don’t lose your relationship due to good intentions, but poor planning.
To discuss this or other issues, Dr. Levine can be reached at 661-251-7748 or 661-269-4704.