The New Year brings the spirit of change into our lives. But whether it’s a New Year’s resolution or any other time of year, the changes we want to make too often revert back to old behaviors leaving us frustrated. We don’t want to make changes for a few weeks or even months, we strive and hope for changes that will be lifelong. Whether it’s fitness, weight, attitude, money, career, parenting, bad habits, addiction, compulsions, relationships… name it… there’s a formula for change that works.
The role of the coach, mentor or counselor is more relevant in modern life than ever before. Society is complex, family dynamics are difficult and modern times create challenges to making long lasting changes like never before. Having an objective, fresh perspective to coach and mentor us through the changes we want to make can help us finally succeed at keeping those changes permanently. We have tried to do so many things so many times on our own. A trained and experienced mentor can make all the difference.
The basic formula for change is simple: “baby steps.” Gradual, segmented, stages that are progressive towards the goal. Anyone can understand that, so why do we need a mentor if we know this much? Because figuring out those steps and stages requires clarity that the individual in need of change doesn’t have. Our own subconscious mind resists change and works against us, making any solutions we come up with mixed in with the resistance of the subconscious. There’s a whole lot of science behind that, but for now let’s understand that this resistance is why we only see temporary change.
The mentor/coach/counselor can see clearly and objectively through the subconscious obstacles and then customize the stages of change to assure success. There is a delicate balance between pushing the client enough to challenge them and keep things progressive towards the goal and pushing them too hard. The difference is a formula for success versus a formula for failure. This process needs a dynamic thought process… one that is “outside the box” and can be quickly adjusted along the way as the client improves and needs new strategies to keep change going. Once goals are met, keeping them in place long enough until they become a part of you is essential. Learn the tools of change and those tools are yours for life. Become your own mentor and master!
Scott Spackey is a California Registered Addiction Specialist, Interventionist, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Life-Coach. For more information, please call 661-299-1966, email: Scott@Life-Mind.com and visit www.life-mind.com.